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SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed.....+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1 You leave the toilet seat up.....-5 You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1 When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2 You go out to buy h er extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5 In the snow .....+8 But return with beer.....-5 And no liners.....-25 A NIGHT OUT WITH HER You take her to a movie.....+2 You take her to a movie she likes.....+4 You take her to a movie you hate.....+6 You take her to a movie you like.....-2 It\\'s called Death Cop III.....-3 Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15 A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a pal.....0 The pal is happily married.....+1 The pal is single.....-7 He drives a Ferrari.....-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15 YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15 You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10 You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30 You say, "It doesn\\'t matter, you have one too.".....-800 THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding.....-10 You reply, "Where?".....-35 You reply, "No, I think it\\'s your bottom".....-100 Any other response.....-20 COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0 You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5 You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50 Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, "...well, what do you think I should do?".....-100 You have fallen asleep.....-200 PROTECTING HER You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5 You pummel it with a six iron.....+10 It\\'s her cat.....-40 AT THE PARTY You stay by her side the entire party.....0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old drinking buddy.....-2 Named Tiffany.....-4 Tiffany is a dancer.....-10 With breast implants.....-18 HER BIRTHDAY You remember her birthday.....0 You buy a card and flowers.....0 You take her out to dinner.....0 You take her out to dinner and it\\'s not a sports bar.....+1 Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2 And it\\'s all-you-can-eat night.....-3 It\\'s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.....-10 IT\\'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH You talk.....-100 You don\\'t talk.....-150 You spend time with her......-200 You don\\'t spend time with her.....-500 You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000 GAME OVER. YOU LOSE!!
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